It’s amazing how long we stay in our relationships, wondering, if it’s time to separate.
I think it is helpful to step back and think about your own feelings and how you view your life.
But there are some clear pointers that you can use to help you decide.
- The top one is if you are in fear of your partner because he/she may abuse or assault you or any of your children, it’s definitely time to move on. Never accept and verbal or physical abuse from anyone. No matter, even if they try to make it up to you at a later stage. It’s a definite and absolute no-no.. if this is happening to you, please get help straight away. Speak to a friend, look for websites that give advice, also there are refuges for abused partners.
- When you feel you have done everything you can to save the partnership – counselling, friend’s advice, tried new ways of being with each other. So just doing your very best to try to salvage the marriage. Nothing has worked, then you know, it is time to quit.
- When you feel you are already alone in the marriage. It can be very lonely place.
- It’s time to separate when you don’t ‘like’ your spouse anymore. You may still love them, but you don’t like them as a person.
- When there is no empathy on their part and you realize there never was, it’s time to leave and begin loving yourself again.
- When you’ve caught him/her time and time again with another partner, it’s time to get out. Unfaithfulness is very destructive.
- If your partner is using abusive substances, using up all monetary resources to keep the habit up and possibly becomes violent towards you. It’s time to leave.
- If you can’t bare them to touch you, in fact you are almost repulsed! If you feel yourself inching off the bed, making sure you are asleep first or last but never at the same time, in case they may want to try and touch you.
- If you never talk anymore, you feel you are living with a roommate and not a partner.
- When you feel numb, or feeling very little emotion towards your partner.
- When the bad memories far outweigh the good ones, to the point where you can’t remember the good ones anymore.
- When you feel like you’re just a convenience to them and nothing more.
- When you’ve fallen out of love and there is no going back, there’s nothing left.
- When you’re not speaking the same language any more. When you are not moving forward in the same direction and just pulling apart and pulling each other apart at the same time.
- When the sound of their car door banging closed means they’re walking in the house any minute and you go cold at the thoughts of having to communicate.
Basically, you will know when to separate when you have enough pain. There’s comes a point when you know you’ve just had enough.
Now it’s just about deciding, when and how and then getting the distance between you. Make a financial plan and have an exit strategy.
Don’t look back, look forward now and go and get the life you deserve.
Maria Allegria