Making difficult decisions has always been a life stopper. It’s unbelievable how long we can actually resist, without making a certain decision.
Our lives can drift for years and years because we just can’t make certain decisions. I have a very close friend called Christina who just couldn’t decide whether to stay in London permanently or go back home to Cyprus where her family are living. She had been in London for 7 years studying and working as a language teacher and had integrated herself fully into the London community. She had a boyfriend for 6 of those years and she was happy enough with how things were going. Back home in Cyprus, she had left behind her family, her sisters, her flat and her job, which was being held for her until she returned.
Alex, her boyfriend could feel Christina’s pain in her indecision and was not feeling comfortable in making the relationship into a marriage. Christina on the other hand, was wondering why Alex was not proposing to her to get married? (She felt that this might have helped her in her decision making!) Well, first of all, men in general will not propose to their girlfriend unless he’s 100% sure she will say yes! So Christina was not doing herself any favours by not being decisive.
I remember giving her some advice: I said, make a decision, any decision, because no decision, is just torture for everyone. I asked her to write out all the pros and all the cons for each side of the decision. Then evaluate which is the best option. I said, imagine in your head, the worst case scenario that can possibly happen for each decision and see which one is the least horrid!
For example, staying in London meant losing her permanent job in Cyprus and not seeing her family that much, also, realising that her relationship with her boyfriend may not work out in the long run, so she could end up single. Whereas, going back home meant possibly losing her boyfriend, her circle of friends and her job that she had spent 7 years building up in London. Also she would be leaving behind all the possibilities that London can offer in comparison to Cyprus, etc.
She went home to Cyprus for Easter that year and promised me she’d make a decision before her return to London and stick by it. On her return, not telling any of us what her decision was, her boyfriend proposed to her. She of course, accepted! He had sensed the shift inside her to want to remain in London. They are happily married now, 2 years already and have a darling little daughter.
It’s the power of decisions makes things happen in your life. Even if it’s not the right decision in the end, the decision itself can always be changed or altered along the way. Indecision is an absolute killer of motivation, drive and joy of life! So start making decisions right now! Don’t hesitate, do it now!
Special guidelines for Decision Making:
1 – Remember the Power of Decisions
2 – Make a Commitment to the Decision – Don’t move until an action is taken towards that decision (make a phone call, an email, etc)
3 – Make Decisions often – it’s a muscle that needs exercising
4 – Learn from your Decisions – Good and Bad
5 – Stay Committed to your Decision – But stay flexible
6 - Enjoy making Decisions!
‘Decidere’ in Latin meaning is to cut off everything else. When the decision is made, everything else should fall away. It will enable you to become laser focused on your decision and you will start to reach your goals with immense ease.
A Truely Comitted Decision is the force that changes the course of your life!
Your Life will change forever – it’s the force that changes your life!
Maria Allegria
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