Well, it can be several things. But one of the biggest is Criticism.
Men do not respond well to criticism in relationships.
You could be slightly criticizing him in an effort to make the relationship better or to help him understand his behaviour. Or your guy could just perceive your communication as criticism even when it wasn’t intended.
It’s the subtleties of how criticism starts to undermine both sides in the relationship and it turns you against each other and that’s what makes criticism so destructive. It’s interesting to know that most couples do not see it when they’re criticizing each other.
In the end, criticism will motivate your guy to distance himself from you and see your relationship as a negative place. He’ll feel the need to pull away from it, in order to feel better about himself.
When your guy feels criticized, these are the things he’s most likely to do:
- Spend more time away from you and your relationship
- Feel like a failure in his life and in your relationship
- Stop trying or being passionate
- Stop letting you in on his deeper thoughts and feelings and shut you out
- Find ways either directly or indirectly to express his frustration
- Stop communicating any appreciation for you
- No longer want to know about and understand your feelings and be a source of support or comfort for you
If you look at that list, you can see that criticism shuts down some huge emotional areas in a man.
When you think about it, criticism is just one way to try and create change and to motivate your guy to do something differently.
There is a better way to communicate with your guy to keep him.
It is to show him Appreciation.
This is an easy fix, but it does take some practice. It means you need to practice letting go of the reigns of the relationship and let him do more for you. You don’t need to do anything at all for this to happen – all you need to do is stop ‘doing’, and this will create the space for him to move forward and ‘do’ for you.
That’s when you’ll create fresh opportunities to acknowledge and appreciate him when he does. Appreciation is the fuel the feeds a man’s passion for you and makes him not want to leave your side.
Start to practice appreciation and gratitude immediately and see how easily things can change for the better.
Maria Allegria